Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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