omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
