she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
