Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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