If that was your dad, he is hot
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
