i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
