Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
