1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
