dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
