It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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