Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
