so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
