we have pet lesbian snakes
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
