Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
