ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize