I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
pop tarts are not kleenex
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
