He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize