I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
tell me about the fingering
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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