no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Randomize
