he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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