I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
vagina is talking i cant
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
