Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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