I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
