dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
