AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
