i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
