Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize