Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
organizing the empties. That sober.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
