we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Randomize
