Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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