Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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