you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
