all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize