I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
This toilet bowl is my home.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
