You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
