i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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