Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
