And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
