drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
