we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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