so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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