She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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