erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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