I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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