No, you can still breathe under the balls.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
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