JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
