Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
