hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
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I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
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In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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