I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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