Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
