and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
