Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
