Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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