Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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