the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
