I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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