I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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