Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
