Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
