So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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