every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
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