Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Randomize
