love makes seman taste better
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
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