i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
My life is pants optional.
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