i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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